When Kikyou Attacks
by CrucifiedPanther
Summary: Keep your children inside, lock all doors, and have soul collectors as a distraction when...Kikyou comes and KILLS you! And I have this to say: Kikyou...were you on crack? NOT a Kikyou bashing ficcie. Now rediting!
1. Inuyasha

When Kikyo Attacks…Dun Dun Dun…

**A/N**: Totally redoing most of the chapters ahead. I started to read them and then realized how horrible they were XD I can't believe people actually liked it. Seriously.

**Warning:** Kikyou _is_ going to be OOC. Kikyou is one of my favorite characters so this is not a bashing story about her. It's all for the good of humor. And over exaggerating… . 

Kikyo was behind a bush, as she watched Kagome and Inuyasha go down the road, hand in hand. Jealousy rose among Kikyou.

Instead of her normal, calm self that she usually had while watching their love grow, she started to turn into an insane psychopathic freak. Just like Mr. Hyde turning into Dr. Jekel…

"Mwhaha! Now to get rid of Inuyasha. MWHAHAHA!" Kikyou whispered that almost ended in a squeak near the end, suprised. She never knew that her usually monotone voice could sound so…_evil._ She shuddered, deciding she liked it.

Something bristled next to her. Knowing already who it was, she grabbed the tail that appeared before her. There, one of her many soul collectors, squealing to be let free. .

"What are you doing here? Never mind. Just get out of my way you…dead ghostish figurely beast!" She couldn't even name it in this state. She was too busy plotting world destru—okay, so she was plotting revenge. But couldn't that be world domination? She zapped the soul collector, not really knowing where she zapped it to, but didn't really care.

No soul collector could come in between her evil plan!

0123456789 

Kagome and Inuyasha were walking down the little path, quietly. It wasn't really like them to be quiet, what with them both having gigantic mouths. Suddenly, Kagome jerked to a hault, making Inuyasha –that was walking at a very steady pace- nearly tripped.

"I bet you did that on--" Inuyasha started.

"I sense the sacred jewel shard," said Kagome as though she did not need any other reason. Which, for Inuyasha, explained everything and was willing to forgive her. Somehow.

"Really? LET'S GO THEN!" exclaimed Inuyasha. Kagome pointed north and marched onwards. Inuyasha started to follow, when he heard a voice…

"Inuyasha…Inuyasha…" the voice called.

"Oh my demon lord! The bush is talking!" He placed his hands on his head, as though he had a headache. There must have been a logical explanation.

"Maybe it is just my imagination. Maybe it's the bad meat Kagome's been giving me," he assured himself. So, he ignored the voice behind the bushes and headed off after Kagome, who, being the dimwit she could be at times, was oblivious that he even stopped at all.

The voice refused to let Inuyasha go, so it spoke again.

"Don't go you twat! It's me, your conscience…we haven't talked in a long time. I'll admit, I thought you had a good head on ya' shoulders when I left ya', but I was totally wrong. I mean look at you!" hissed the voice. This voice was quick on its feet.

Instead of finding the fact that the voice said he was ugly, he simply didn't say anything for awhile. Finally he spoke.

"Since when do demons a conscience…?"

"You're _half_-demon. You still have human conscience's!" the voice replied.

Inuyasha rubbed his hands together, pleased.

"Kagome told me a lot about consciences. But let's begin," he started, as the voice was a little bit confused.

"Okay, my first wish is to be ruler of all demons. I don't care what cha' do to get me there, just get me there. My second wish is to have…ten more wishes. And my final one is—"

"What? Since when do consciences ever…_grant wishes_?"

Inuyasah put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. At this, the voice couldn't conjure what it was doing wrong.

"Dumb-ass, you don't even know what you do for a living!" he sneered.

-.- was the the voice's reply, although you couldn't see it.

"_What an idiot…" _it thought to itself.

"No idiot, that's a genie. Consciences are basically your inner self. You know, when you kill…ok wrong scenario for you…when you steal that voice that tells you to stop is your conscience!" the voice was tired of talking to the idiot.

"You can't be me…first off, you don't sound like me. You don't even sound as cool as me. You obviously aren't me. I have a sexy voice. You have a…well whatever. And if you were really me, how come you haven't killed me yet? Hm?" Inuyasha argued. Just as the voice was tired of Inuyasha, Inuyasha was tired at the voice.

The voice was dumbfounded. "That's really stupid. Why would I kill myself?"

Inuyasha responded with, "No me." He pointed to him. The voice was taking it a little too seriously.

"I know, why would you kill yourself? I'm your conscience idiot! Saying to kill you means suicide!" the voice attempted to explain. It was no use.

"Oh, never mind," sighed Inuyasha. The voice continued

"So anyway, I came to warn you about something that I have foreseen," the voice began to explain.

"Oh, so _now_ you can see the future? Wait, does that mean I'm psychic to? …Wow! Next you're going to tell me I have premotions!" Inuyasha showed the voice just how dense he could be.

The voice sighed. "Premotions are the same thing as seeing into the future…?"

"No they aren't!" Inuyasha argued. The voice decided it was best not to get into yet another fight.

"Look, do you want me to tell you or are you going to act stupid and leave?" the annoyed voice pestered.

"No, not really," answered Inuyasha. "Are you almost done? I have to catch up with Kagome, though I doubt she noticed me leaving…"

"NO! NOT UNTIL I TELL YOU SOMETHING!" the voice yelled. It was really beginning to grow impatient.

"Fine then. Touchy, touchy," huffed Inuyasha. He stayed unwillingly.

"Come closer my dear," coaxed the voice.

"And why should I?" shot back Inuyasha.

"Because I said so!"

"No!"

"You'll pay!" Kikyou finally showed herself to Inuyasha, getting out of the bushes, her brown eyes turning red from evilness.

Inuyasha was shocked and took a step back.

"Kikyou? All this time and I never knew you were my conscience!"

Kikyou shook in anger. How in seven blazes hell did she date someone so…_dense_? "I will never ever be your conscience. It was all a stupid plan that you fell for. Now DIE!" shouted Kikyou, raising her bow straight at Inuyasha. Inuyasha looked more amused than scared.

"Feh, like you could kill me. I mean you can do me no harm. I mean Wow, you have a bow and some puny arrows. I doubt you could kill me with those 'weapons'," scoffed Inuyasha, underestimating Kikyou's power.

Kikyou launched an arrow at him. Inuyasha was shocked.

"Or not."Inuyasha fell to the ground, dead. Kikyou placed the body into the bushes. She patted her hands.

"That felt …good. I haven't felt like this in years! This makes me want to…do it again! MWHAHAHA!" cackled Kikyou.

Instead of returning to her normal self after killing the person who she wanted to kill, she apparently lost all of it, going to…_the darkside_.

And it's perfectly alright, Kikyou. We accept you here in open arms…

_MWHAHAHAHAHA!_

First chapter done editing! Onto next!


	2. Kagome

**When Kikyo Attacks pt2**

Editing numero dos!

**Remember**: I do not own Characters from Inuyasha

We'll now go to Inuyasha, who, still after all those hours, did not realize that Inuyasha was not following, much less dead.

Kagome was walking along, humming a wonderful tune. It finally occurred to her that maybe she could turn around and talk to Inuyasha. He sure was being quiet today.

When she turned around, she saw nothing. But she shrugged it off. It was usual of him to slip off the path. Perhaps he's lost. She stopped near a rock and sat there, waiting for Inuyasha to come to her. But he never came.

She started to sniffle in worry.

"I don't see him anywhere. What if something happened to him? What if…" her face darkened, "What if he found _Kikyou_!" She hurriedly got off the rock and stormed back to the others, every once in awhile saying "SIT!" loudly to hear a sound.

She finally reached them, still angry as her fingers were balled in fists.

"Let's not get too drastic. Inuyasha can handle himself," said Miroku. He wasn't particularly worried, and if he was with Kikyou…well, more power to him.

"I can't belive he just…URGH!" the jealous Kagome huffed. She was not about to lose the war that Kikyou and herself had…

"Let's go and look some more," she said darkly, stalking off. Until, she heard a little squeak…

"Oh look, a worm!" piped Shippo, finding a little worm. He sat down and played with it, enjoying his first little friend that was smaller than him. "I shall call you Ralph! And we will be bestest of friends…" he started to babble.

"SHIPPO, YOU _IDIOT_!" yelled Kagome as she smacked him over the head. "DON'T GET SIDETRACTED!"She grabbed the worm and threw him into the air; god knows where it would end up.

"Hey! What ya' do that for. I would of let you see him if you waited your turn," pouted Shippo. He had gotten so close to Ralph.

He sniffled a bit, though Kagome didn't seem to notice how she upsetted Shippo.

"I need to know WHERE INUYASHA IS!" screeched Kagome. Patience was running thin in Kagome's body.

"Geez Kagome. We'll all go see where he is," Sango said, rolled her eyes. They all climbed aboard Kirara and flew off into the sky.

**0123456789**

"Now that I finally got revenge, I feel the need to do that again! Getting revenge is so much fun!" Kikyou sang, looking around.She saw soul collectors bundled up into the corner of a bush, terrified how their master had become evil so fast.

"One of you will just fine…" She neared the soul collectors that were shaking vigorously.

They had a plan. They kicked one of their own kind that they didn't like as a sacrifice. The lonely soul collector tried to get away. Kikyou was about to zap it into existence, but then stopped at the sound of a putrid voice.

No other than Kagome…

"Lucky duckling…I'll deal with you later," she whispered. The one soul collector breathed a sigh of relief. But then, Kikyou grabbed the tail of it. She smiled chaotically, forming up another devious plan.

"You my soul collectors…owe me. I have a plan."

**0123456789**

"I just don't know where to look anymore!" cried Kagome.

"Like I said, calm down," said Miroku moving closer to the distraught girl. Kagome knew where this was coming.

"You come any closer and I'll…I'll whack you with…this!" Kagome ripped a piece of fur off Kirara's back and hurled it at him. Miroku coughed and wheezed as he turned around.

Kirara didn't notice that she had a chunk of hair missing off her back. She was too busy seeing…_candy_…

Soul collectors –that looked like candy from far away- were coming closer.

Kagome grew excited. "Maybe Kikyou knows where he is. Onward Kirara!"

"Hold it! She's my cat! I give her the commands!" shouted Sango.

"Don't test me woman," warned Kagome. When she was worried over Inuyasha, nothing could stop her!

The soul collectors reached them, and dodged Kirara's mouth. Never before had a gigantic cat mistake them for candy.

They kept doing this until Kirara gave up. She hated fast food. The soul collectors went up right against Kirara and pushed her, making everybody wobble.

"INUYASHA!" yelled Kagome, even though there was no Inuyasha around. The soul collectors, knowing what they wanted, knocked Kagome off her post.

She was falling hundreds of feet from the ground. Hey, she was skydiving!

"No! I refuse to die!" When they were ten feet from the ground, the soul collectors caught her, making her have a graceful landing…which they soon regretted.

Kagome whacked and pushed the soul collectors out of the way."Don't touch me ya' filthy thing a ma boppers!"

Kikyou was straight ahead, smiling evilly. This was a full-proof plan. Kagome finally spotted her, in which she squealed.

"You're just the person I wanted to see!" She ran over to Kikyou, as though they were best friends.

"You mean the last…MWHAHAHAHA!" Kikyou cackled, going into her chaotic mode.

"Um…yeah…" said Kagome, confused by the cackling and the OOC ness of Kikyou. Did Kikyou manage to find the crack stored in her bag? _…ahem…_

"Do you happen to know where Inuyasha is?" Kagome questioned the maniacal miko.

"Yeah. He's in my closet, locked and stuffed in there with no air," Kikyou sarcastically said. Kagome, seemed to ignore her sarcastic tone.

"Thank you so much!" Kagome squealed excitedly. Then she stopped. "Wait, since when do you have closet?"

"I was being sarcastic, genius. No one knows how to take sarcastic remarks anymore," Kikyou rolled her eyes at her idiot reincarnation. Again, Kagome seemed to forget the sarcastic tone.

"Have you a closet though?" Kagome went near her and shook her. "HAVE YOU!" Kagome needed to know where this closet was so she could rescue Inuyasha…and sit him like 32975903275979052789053 times.

Kikyou ripped Kagome's hand off. How dare this ungrateful child touch her!

"I'll kill you! Kill you all!" Kikyou threatened, raising up her arrow.

"You want to kill me? That's the first. Funny, I always wished for your death after all these episodes, but after all this time you never told me that," remarked Kagome.

"I was always hiding it, ya' fool! And just so I know you'll be miserable when you die, _I killed Inuyasha_!" revealed Kikyou. Kikyou has now totally gone OOC…

"_WHAT_! MY BABY!" Kagome fell on her knees and cried.

"Yes—Hey wait a minute! He loved me, not you!"

"HE'S MINE!" whined Kagome, tackling Kikyou to the ground.

"Get off me!" shouted Kikyo. She wrestled out of Kagome's grasp, standing up while panting.

"DIE YOU GIRL!" She shot Kagome with an arrow, as Kagome hit the ground from it.

Even after Kagome was struck, she remarkably was able to talk "No! I never told Inuyasha that I …"

"I though I shot you!" Kikyou launched yet another arrow, hoping that it would kill her already.

"I have a booboo…Maybe when I go to heaven, Inuyasha will kiss it," Kagome thought hopefully.

Kikyou rolled her eyes, as Kagome finally took the hint and died.

"Yet again, that also felt good." Kikyou thought thoughtfully to herself. Now in her full state of being chaotic, she could do anything.

"Just killing seems so much fun…maybe I'll just kill anyone! MWHAHAHA!"

The soul collectors hid in the bushes, again afraid. Now that she lost everything that old Kikyou used to be, it was no use. They would all soon perish…

Onto third chapter! And review!


	3. Sesshomaru

**When Kikyo Attacks pt3**

Editing third chapter!

**Remember: **I do not own characters from Inuyasha

Kikyou rubbed her hands, needing to kill yet again. It was like killing was her pro-drug.

"I really need to do that again," she exclaimed, thinking of her next victim.

"Or you could get T-H-E-R-A-P-Y," one soul collector said, as others shook their head. Poor soul.

Kikyou zapped the soul collector to it's doom, laughing.

"Any others agree with him?" asked Kikyuo menacingly. The soul collectors shook their heads and whimpered.

"Good…let's see who's my next person," she looked towards the fields, and noticed one little girl all by herself picking flowers. Even though the old Kikyou would never do a thing to harm children, that old Kikyou was gone. She started to go towards the girl.

"Lalalalala…it's Elmo's world" sang Rin. She looked at Kikyou who was suddenly next to her smiling,

"Well hello," Rin happily said.

"Why aren't you a pretty victim…I mean girl," cooed Kikyo.

"You should meet Sesshomaru-sama! He's so nice!" Rin exclaimed. Rin took a big breath.

" No!" Kikyou surely did not want a demon coming in her plans. She tried to cover Rin's mouth, but it was too late.

"LORD SESSHOMARU!" she squealed.

"Darnit! I'm screwed," she whispered to herself and began to walk away, aborting her plan. But Sesshomaru was right on her tail.

"And where do you think _your_ going?" questioned the ever stoic Lord Sesshomaru. Kikyou stopped walking.

"It's none of your business where I'm going," Kikyo retorted sharply.

"Rin, can you go and pick the clay pot…I mean nice lady some flowers?"

"Sure!" Rin happily replied and walked away leaving them _alone_…

"Don't worry I shall make this quick and painless," the demon lord said, turning to Kikyou while taking out his sword.

"Darn! I mean, at least I have an arm and actually killed Inuyasha," Kikyou babbled nervously. At this point, she'd say anything. Even if it had…_nothing_ to with the topic…

"What?" exclaimed the great Sesshomaru, actually allowing the emotion of shocked-ness grace his features.

"Yeah. I killed him, so I'd back off if I were you or I'll go creepy on you," threatened Kikyou, starting to do Kung-Fu.

o.O was Sesshomaru's stare but, he continued on. "I'll take the chance of your… '_creepiness_'. I always told you he is mine!"

Kikyou, thinking to add humor to this weird circumstance, giggled, "You know how much you sounded gay!"

Sesshomaru, angry beyond angry, attacked.

Kikyou dodged the slashes of Sesshomaru's sword, trying not to show how hard or easy it was to dodge it.

"Sesshomaru, I would stop if I were you," she warned.

"Why? And that's _Lord_ Sesshomaru to you, wench!" he growled.

"Because, I have something of yours…SOUL COLLECTORS!" She called her demon pawns. The soul collectors appeared, shaking in fear of Sesshomaru and what he would do to them for having his…prized possession.

"My-my make-up? That is like, low beyond low! You don't see me stealing your's!" exclaimed the demon lord.

"-.- I don't wear make-up. Kinda hard, ya' know, looking alive when you're DEAD!

"MY MAKE-UP! NOOOOO!" Sesshomaru said.

"Geez, whoever knew behind your emotionless state was this…_girly obsession_." Kikyou muttered.

"I'll do whatever you say, but don't hurt my beautiful make-up!" pleaded Sesshomaru.

Kikyou sighed. "Why bother? But then again, it's fun to see you in pain! MWHAHAHA!" Kikyou cackled again.

Sesshomaru wasn't paying attention to her. Instead, he was looking at his make-up.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" questioned an irritated Kikyou.

Sesshomaru was oblivious. "My poor make-up. It's all my fault for being a tough opponent!"

"This has no fun in it. If your not gonna pay attention to me then… SOUL COLLECTORS!" Kikyou shouted.

The soul collectors dropped the make-up, as Sesshomaru rushed to it.

Sesshomaru started rubbing the container protectively.

"Perfect chance," muttered Kikyou, picking up her bow and arrow, ready to strike.

Sesshomaru didn't even get the chance to see Kikyou who was about to kill him.

She shot the arrow, making Sesshomaru die a painless death.

Kikyou stomped her foot, unhappy by the fact that he was no challenge to kill, even though Inuyasha always told her otherwise…she huffed.

Now someone needed to owe her one. And this time, it'd put up a fight. She smiled viciously.

Editing done! I'm so glad I got the chance to do this! Though I think now it's lost all it's immature funniness…


	4. Jaken

I'm editing yet again!

**Remember: **I do not own characters of Inuyasha.

Kikyou, after we left her, decided to go on a zapping soul collectors rampage, and ran off to the unknowing while chasing her soul collectors.

She finally stopped. Kikyou sat on a rock and called to her soul collectors. "I'm not going to hurt you…I don't know what came over me…" They all stopped in union, some bombarding into another. They were all flabbergasted.

"Really? You're back…to…whatever normal was?"

Kikyou smiled. "Of course I'm back to normal."

The soul collectors, all thinking she was telling the truth, sighed in relief.

That's when Kikyou smiled…chaotically. They shook in terror, knowing that it could only mean trouble for them.

"You really think I'd stop myself from having a blast? HAH!" And she zapped them all to their doom, as some skidded across the field, trying to escape.

"MWHAHAH-- OW!" Kikyou felt something collide with her as she fell to the ground.

"What in seven blazes hell was that for?" she yelled at the…

Well, she couldn't really figure that out. She looked at it oddly.

"What exactly are you?" she asked. In all her years of being a priestess, never once has she encountered anything like…this.

"I'm Lord Sesshomaru's follower!" it squealed.

'So that's what Sesshomaru's followers really look like. No wonder why he was always…abnormal,' Kikyou chuckled to herself.

"I don't know how but I think you KILLED MY LORD!" Jaken, 'the it' shouted, angry even more. Kikyou looked at Sesshomaru's follower.

"It sure has a temper," she said out loud, as Jaken went furious.

"I'm not an it! I'm Sesshomaru's follower!"

Kikyou sighed. "I heard you the first time."

"You'll totally pay for this!" Jaken shrieked madly, waving his Staff-of-Heads around as a threat. Kikyou was more amused then scared.

"Why can't you just go…ya' know. Go away. I have some more plans that don't involve frog-looking creatures. Your temper is not my problem," Kikyou drawled. She waved him off.

Jaken was ticked. How could she not think that he's not a threat? He was feared by all. He stood his ground.

"Priestess…you have offended me and you killed the great mighty Sesshomaru…I don't know how, but I'll end your suffering!" Jaken threatened, and he charged straight at Kikyou.

Kikyou stepped aside, as Jaken missed his target, hitting a tree. Kikyou looked at her nails. This was tiring.

Jaken finally, regaining conscious, stood up and prepared to fight yet again.

"Ya' know, the way you're acting, it's like ya' had a fling with Sesshomaru," she yawned, pointing out the obvious.

Jaken didn't do anything. When she heard no smart-ass remark or shouting, she raised her eyebrows and looked at the…Jaken. She then fell to the ground, laughing.

"This is so…funny! Sesshomaru having a…it loving him!" Tears of laughter streamed down her face. She couldn't hold it in, even if she tried. This was too hilarious.

Jaken, though, wasn't pleased. At all.

"Stop laughing!" Jaken squeaked. This only brought more tears and laughter from Kikyou. Jaken started to grow anime nerves. He shook in anger, as his hands tightened on his Head-of-Staff. He was about to put it to good use.

"Now… DIE!" shouted Jaken, picking up his Staff-of-Heads. It released a stream of fire.

Kikyou stopped laughing and actually looked shocked. "I didn't know…it could do that…"

Jaken was not satisfied with that remark. "Ok, THAT'S IT! DIE! DIE! DIE!" Jaken waved his staff chaotically, fire bursting everywhere.

It hit everything but Kikyou.

"You have the worst aim for…Sesshomaru followers. I might as well end your pathetic life," Kikyou said, now bored again. "And besides…I'm getting tired. Killing three people in one day sure sucks the energy right out of ya'."

Now Jaken was pissed. She hasn't even laid a finger on him, and he's done everything he can but she won't seem to go!

"You're not even trying! I've done all my moves well, but you still are alive!" he yelped.

"For the last time…I'm not alive…" twitched Kikyou. Doesn't anyone notice anymore?

She moved towards her bow and arrow, as Jaken whimpered in fear. He wanted Sesshomaru…

Jaken, as soon as she bent down to get her weapons, ran for his ever-loving life!

"Ok it. Now it's your turn to die—" Kikyou started, but then she realized…it was getting away!

"Hey! It! Get back here!" Kikyou ran after him. It wasn't too hard. He was a slow…thing after all.

Once she was close enough, she grabbed his collar and halted him.

"Now…it…where was I? Oh yes! About to kill you…any last request?"

Jaken gulped. "Mommi…?"

With that, Kikyou shot an arrow, as he fell to the ground, dead.

"Just like his Master…so easy to kill," she stated to herself.

She looked around. "Who will be my next victim?"

The soul collectors scattered at hearing this, shrieking widly. She smiled evilly and went off after them.

Done editing! Review!


	5. Miroku

Editing!

**_Remember: _**I do not own characters from Inuyasha

* * *

"I'm hungry!" Kikyo said. She was about to start to call her soul collectors forth.

She found no soul collector in sight.

"Darn! I guess I'll just have to ignore it…like go and kill people!"

She walked towards the nearest sounds until she finally came upon a quiet camp. There, she spotted two people. Perfect targets…

**0123456789**

"I wonder where Kagome is?" said Sango, getting worried. They haven't seen her ever since those pests of soul collectors knocked her down. She sighed.

"Or Inuyasha," stated Miroku. He started to inch over to Sango.

Sango already spotted him and got up. "You know? I'll go and find them."

Miroku got up too. "I'll help you!" He started heading towards Sango.

"NO! I mean…no. You just…stay here," Sango replied, gesturing to the log. Miroku sighed and sat down.

Sango walked away with Kirara tagging along.

"Oh yeah, the cat can follow her, but I can't…" he mumbled to himself. He was utterly bored.

Kikyou, that was behind the bush, chuckled. This would be easy…

Miroku apparently heard the little chuckling, for he stood up in defense mode.

"Who's there? Back off or else I'll use my WIND TUNNEL!"

'Oh yeah, I'm so scared of that,' Kikyou thought to herself. Then, she thought of another brilliant, yet evil plan.

Kikyou disguised her voice. In a high-pitched voice, she strained to say without her voice cracking, " Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know that there was a handsome young man here!"

Kikyou wanted to gag. 'Handsome'? Bleugh!

Miroku's eyes lit up. Finally, a person of the opposite sex!

"Well, um, yes! I am pretty handsome. Who are you any way?" Miroku asked, heading towards the bush. There was rustling heard.

Kikyou had to think fast.

"No! I mean no, silly. I look so pitiful standing next…to…you."

Again, she wanted to throw up. Too bad she couldn't eat anything but souls. Which she started to wonder what color would her barf be if she did throw up? This made her want to try…

But Miroku's voice interrupted any idea of that happened. When she looked she noticed Miroku sitting on the log, talking…to her. Might as well listen…

Four hours later

"I'm dying here! This guy is so perverted!" she gagged.

"Did you say something," Miroku asked innocently. He didn't really get the fact that he's been doing all the talking…for _four_ hours…and that she didn't care.

"No!" she managed to say.

" Well, it seems that we have so much in common—"

'Yeah it's a shame you were doing all the talking for me. Wouldn't know,' she thought to herself. She then caught the last sentences.

"Why don't we camp together? But I do have to say that I only have one sleeping bag…"

That's where Kikyou had to draw the line. Enough was enough. She could only deal with so much pervertedness for one day.

"I refuse!" Kikyo screamed, standing up from the bushes.

Miroku turned bug eyed. "I was talking to a dead person? o.O"

Kikyou was in a huff. "Yes and I was talking to a perverted monk for four hours! You know how bad it is talking to you? For this, you just gotta go!"

"Oh yeah then I will use my…WIND TUNNEL!" Miroku yelled, taking off the cloth on his hand. The only problem…it was a very pitiful excuse for wind.

"Yes that's very interesting. Can I go on," said the amused Kikyou.

Miroku took a step back, flabbergasted. There must be a logical explanation for this…that's when he heard it. A crack.

Looking down, he saw the reason why.

He stepped on a mirror, shattering it to pieces.

"Forty years of bad luck," he mumbled to himself. He sighed.

"Wonderful! I'll just kill you before forty years is over!"

"No!" Miroku whimpered, knowing what the outcome would be and not liking it.

"Well to bad because I am anyway!" Kikyuo grabbed her bow and arrow, ready to strike Miroku.

Just as she was to release it, a boomerang hit Kikyou's bow and arrow, making her let go of it. She looked up to the person who ruined her evil plan! REVENGE!

"SANGO! Thankgoodness you came! I guess breaking a mirror really doesn't give you bad luck!" Miroku squealed.

Sango stared at him. "You broke a mirror? Hon', you're not _that_ ugly."

"I stepped on it…"

"Oh. Well anyways, face your doom Kikyou!" she pointed right towards Kikyou. Kikyou didn't say anything, conjuring up yet another plan.

But, funny thing, instead of Sango coming to Miroku, Sango came near Kikyou.

"Mind if I join in killing him?"

"Why sure!" Kikyou threw her plan away. This one was much more easier. And she didn't need to find a catapult.

"_What!_" Miroku screamed.

"For some reason, I have turned to the…_dark side_! MWHAHAHA!" cackled Sango.

With that, Kikyou and Sango got a rope, cornered him, and hung him to a tree, dead.

"It's like a decoration," Kikyo said, eyes sparkling, after they were done.

"Yes. You know, I could get used to this…killing thing," Sango stated.

Kikyou didn't say anything, just smiling…that smile."You know…I think need to do that again…"

"Um…Kikyou I'm not liking the way you're looking at me…AHHHH!"

Kikyou tried to tackle Sango as she ran with Kikyou close behind.

"I'll get you my pretty! And you're little…_cat_ too! MWHAHAHA!"

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-sighs- I hope I'll get done editing soon. This is tiring.


	6. Kagome's Family

The fact that people read this story while it was in…that form…is what surprises me. The fact that I went back and read made me cringe from my stupidity…and my cockiness. I guess that's how we all were at one time…

**Remember: **I do not own characters from Inuyasha.

* * *

"I'll catch you!" Kikyo shouted while chasing Sango.

Sad thing was, Sango was beginning to get tired. You can only run so fast. After this she swore to stop using Kirara and start jogging as transportation.

"What did I ever do to you?" Sango managed to gasp. Kikyou stopped to a halt.

"Well…I don't know…you did – wait, no…you started—wait no, that was me…" Kikyou thought carefully, scratching her chin. Excatly what had she done?

Kikyou shrugged. "Oh well, you'll die anyway." And with that, Kikyou started to chase after Sango, who apparently ran off a good ten yards while Kikyou was thinking.

Now, just like Sango, Kikyou could only run so fast. She stopped to a halt as her clay body tried to catch up with her pace.

"Sango's lucky. If I had my _real_ body, _oh_, would I kick her demonic-slaying ass," she muttered to herself. Since Sango was nowhere in sight, Kikyou gave up. She sighed. Her clay body was taking tolls on her…

She was about to sit down, when she realized that what she was sitting on wasn't a rock…

Unless back in the feudal era, rocks had a giant hole in it…

She jumped up from the spot where she was sitting on and looked into the hole. She soon got dizzy, as she couldn't see the bottom, only pitch black.

"This must be the well that Kagome goes through," grunted Kikyou. She wondered how Kagome got home if that lead to her place…maybe she lived with moles…

Kikyou, wanting to know, decided to take the chance, and jump in it. Of course, since Kagome was her reincarnation, she had to trouble going down.

She fell down the well, flying as the wind pushed against her clothes and air. She huffed. If this was what everyone wanted to do in life –to fly- then she'd pass. This was boring.

Finally, there was a thump as Kikyou hit the bottom of the well. She got up, rubbing her butt.

"I wonder…if I fell really hard, would my clay butt shatter?" she wondered to herself, but brushed off the thought. She had to get out of here.

She used her nails to climb up the well. Once she was out, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then something struck her.

Where was she?

Looking around, she saw nothing but an old basement. Nothing looked familiar.

Something squeaked past her, making her jump. Looking down, she saw…_vermins_. There was a whole family of them as they came to inspect the new object.

She grew angry as they started to sniff her. But she had to draw the line when one bit her…

Kikyou spring out her bow and arrow, as the rats sensed the threat and backed away. This wasn't good enough. Revenge was the only thing on Kikyou's mind.

"DIE!" She rapidly shot arrows around the walls of the ceilings, bouncing off the walls and striking the ground. The rats dodged as best as they could.

She was about to launch another arrow when she heard footsteps coming this way. The rats eventually quieted down as they scurried away.

Someone then opened the basement door to reveal a little boy. He had a smile on his face, and Kikyou was puzzled. She never saw this guy before…

"Kagome! You're back!" cried Souta, running over to her and giving a bear hug to Kikyou.

Kikyou twitched. Was it just her, or did he just call her…_Kagome_?

"Get off me you insolent fool! I'm not your precious Kagome!" she hissed, trying to escape his grasp.

Souta stepped away. He sighed. For some reason, he acted as though this was…_routine_…

"Mother!" he called. "Kagome didn't take her pills!" Souta rubbed his head.

"…pills…?" Kikyou questioned, confused.

Kagome's mother finally came with a bag of pills. Taking out a pill, she stuffed it into Kikyou's mouth. Of course, it didn't have any affect on her.

"Now Kagome, you remember the little talk we had about not taking your pills and what it can do…Kagome are you even listening?" Kagome's mother stated angrily. Kikyou was staring at the rats, sending death threats to them. She would get her chance of revenge…

Kikyou finally realized that she was asked a question. "For the last time…I'm not Kagome! I'm Kikyou, killer of all! Fear me! MWHAHAHA!" she cackled, going insane yet again.

And, yet again, Kagome's mother and brother seemed to treat this like…_normal_…

"Kagome…I thought we had a talk about this too just the other day. But this time you're not in a princess costume…" sighed the mother.

Was Kagome's mother deaf?

"I'm NOT KAGOME!" She ran out of the shrine, and into the streets of this new world. She had no idea where she was going, but it was best to get away from…_them_.

"Pshaw. I'll see to it they'll meet their doom…" she grumbled, walking down an alley.

"_Pst_…hey you! Yeah you! Ova' here!" something whispered. Kikyou looked over her shoulder to reveal a mangy, old male. He waved her to come over, in which she did.

He crouched on the ground as Kikyou followed suit.

"I heard ya' want revenge. Well have I got cha' place for ya'," he said, now walking down the alley. Kikyou followed, not knowing what to do. He finally led her to a closed-off door. He opened it to reveal…

Heaven.

Thousands of everything that could kill was on shelves, boxes, and containers. It was like a candy store…for maniacs. She skipped down the place, grabbing buckets full of grenades and twirling it around. Flinging knives everywhere. This store understood her.

She finally grabbed what she needed, and took one last look at the place where she had so much fun. She would definitely come back. She started to walk back to Kagome's house, or at least, tried. Finally, she was able to retrace her steps and there she was…the house.

She assembled the weapon by the instructions. She smirked with satisfaction when she was done. She placed the bomb in front of their house and pulled the trigger that set it off.

She ran back into the shrine, cackling hysterically.

…10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…….

**BOOM!**

A big explosion came as the house erupted, sending pieces flying everywhere…and body parts. Kikyou smiled. She had done well.

The rats came up to see what had happened. Their stomach's churned as seeing the gruesome body parts. They fainted.

Kikyo laughed evilly. The time to strike!

She again started to shoot arrows.

"They remind me so much of my soul collectors…" Kikyuo sighed, remembering the good old times with her soul collectors. Good times…

**012456789**

After 10 miles of running, Sango looked back to find that Kikyou wasn't following her. She stopped, taking in deep breaths.

"Finally!" Sango gasped. Then she looked around…where was she?

"Now where the hell am I?"

Sango was in a swamp.

"_Joy…"_ she thought sarcastically. She saw something stir in the water. She stepped back, thinking about all those times that her parents used to tell her about all different kinds of swamp animals.

The animal moved closer near the edge of the water, this time showing a long, spiky tail.

"What in seven hells is that?" nearly shouted Sango, worriedly.

Finally, the monster showed it's piercing eyes. It was about to strike.

Sango, knowing that, started to run, but she was no match for…_the alligator_…from HELLLZ!

**CHOMP!

* * *

**

Is it just me, or did I kill a lot of people in this chapter?


	7. Hojo

**When Kikyo Attacks** pt7.

Editing. Only one more chapter to edit before I have to really think! ; )

**Disclaimer- **-ahem- I don't own characters from Inuyasha, yadda, yadda, yadda.

* * *

"This is awesome!" Kikyou said, picking up a hand from the shattered house. She wished she could bomb people up more often. Out of the corner, of her eye, she saw that someone was running towards the house.

"Oh no! They caught me in the act!" Kikyou started to run back to the well.

"Kagome! Thank god!" cried the voice. Kikyou stopped, realizing that they had the person had no idea she did it. But now this 'Kagome' thing was getting annoying.

"For the last time, I'm not Kagome! I'm Kikyou! Kikyou I tell you, KIKYOU!" she spat.

The person, Hojo, stared at her. 'Has she been taking her pills?' he thought to himself.

"Kagome, are you all right? Did you have amnesia when the house exploded? Oh god, what if you did!" he screamed, running over to Kikyou and hugging her. Kikyou started to get angry.

"I'm…not…KAGOME!" Kikyo yelled, knocking Hojo to the ground where he landed in the mud. Hojo stared in shock, lip trembling. Germs, everywhere…all over him. It was unbearable!

"Oh my godz, there's like germs all over me! Get them off!" Hojo yelped, jumping everywhere, trying to get the mud off him.

Kikyou brightened her mood. This person actually had a weakness. A strange one, but it was a weakness.

She picked up the mud from the puddle and went near Hojo, who was still freaking out from the germs.

He tried to reach his backpack from his back. He grabbed his sanitizer that he carried everywhere and began spraying frantically all over his clothing.

Kikyou hacked a little from the stench of it. He used way too much. She could barely see him.

Coughing again, Kikyou tried to predict where he was and threw mud hard.

It must of hit him, for she heard a moan. The fog from the spray cleared away, as she saw Hojo on the ground, covered with the mud.

"I'm melting!" he screeched, as he had a spasm attack.

Kikyou yawned. He was overreacting…it was only _mud_.

Kikyo sighed. "Are you dead yet?" Kikyuo got a stick and poked him. He squirmed.

"No! The torture! Please, no more germs or anything icky!" the almost dead Hojo cried.

"Who cares about _you_? The world needs people that are less like you! I should just rid the world of people like…_you_. Yes…that could be my job…" Kikyou started to slowly daydream of all the glorious days that she would go out and kill Hojo zombies. That daydream zapped; as she spotted something move out of the corner of her eye.

"What the heck is that? I thought I killed everybody," she mumbled to herself. She eyed Hojo, who was slightly moving to his sanitizer, probably trying to make it into pepper spray like thing. Kikyou held up her bow and arrow as a threat. He stopped moving.

She heard the noise of something familiar, but she couldn't remember what it was.

Was it someone that she had thought she killed but yet wasn't?

She crumbled that idea. She was, Kikyou. The great miko! Killer of all!

"Killer of alllllllllllllll," Kikyou echoed out loud.

'_Whoops,_' she thought in her mind. _'I must of lost my thought. Say…maybe I have A.D.D now that I've turned evil. Maybe all villains get A.D.D when they turn psychotic…'_

A loud crash was heard from the shrine, as she snapped back to reality. She could sense Hojo shake in fear.

"There!" he shouted, pointing to the thing that created noise.

She turned her head to face…

…………..

…………

………..

………

……..

…….

……

…..

….

…

Her dragon-like soul collector!

Kikyou was taken aback. Tears started to form. She stepped towards the soul collector.

The soul collector chirped, confused. The now evil Kikyou…crying?

"After all the days of me growing insane, you still come back to me? I never knew how much you cared," she sniffled, running towards it.

The soul collector flew backwards. _Wait…wha_! Kikyou came near to hug it. It gawked. Hojo gawked. Kikyou smiled.

The soul collector sniffled. Kikyou returned to normal! NORMAL!

"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" it shouted, flying around in circles.

Kikyou, on the other hand, cackled. The soul collector abruptly stopped. Uh-oh…

"You are either stupid or…you're stupid. You honestly think I'd give up _this_?"

It shook in fear. It must have had short tension span. It fell for her trick…the second time! It ran away, back towards the well to hopefully lose her.

"I won't let you get away! For it is I! Kikyou the GREAT!" Kikyou yelled after it.

Kikyou stopped, turning around to remember Hojo still lying there, too stupid to run for his life. She sighed. Kagome's friend was the worst victim…_EVER!_

"Now what will I do with you?" Her soul collector could wait. She knew where it would go…_possibly_…

"Um…spare me oh great Kagome—WAIT, NO! I meant!" Hojo started, but Kikyou's anger burst.

"I'm only telling you this once pretty boy. And fortunately, it will be the last advice you'll hear. I. Am. Not. Kagome. I. Am. KIKYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

She totally lost it, sending all her arrows at Hojo, who just stood there as the arrows hit him.

Kikyou turned towards the well, finally going home. She jumped down the well, cackling the whole way.

"HehehehehohohohohohahahahahMWHAHAHAHA!"

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Review please. Serisouly-- no! Don't click _that_ button for the next chapter! Click the 'Submit Review' button! ; ) 


	8. Myoga and Dun Dun Dun

**When Kikyo Attacks **pt8 

Editing part 8! Then actual working! ; )

**Disclaimer- **Don't own Inuyasha

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The soul collector was hiding in a bush, hiding from the enemy…Kikyou. It was ten minutes after it got out of that well, and boy oh boy did that soul collector run for it's dear life!

It took a small sigh of relief. It heard rustling in the back.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" it yelled, racing out of the bushes and into the light.

The soul collector saw Kikyou, in a tree, shaking the leaves, still trying to find her soul collector. Kikyou, who was too caught up in trying to find her soul collector, didn't notice the little demon pawn scream with fear.

The soul collector yet again sighed in relief. It flew the opposite direction.

"Hey you! Get back here!" it heard her, as it sped faster. Kikyou jumped off the tree and started to run after it.

"Why, oh why couldn't my mother mate with a soul collector that had lightning speed!" the soul collector cursed to itself.

Suddenly a plan struck it. Literally. The soul collector halted to a stop, making Kikyou bash into it and land in a puddle of water.

"Petuey! Petuey!" she spat, trying to get the dirt water taste out of her mouth.

The soul collector mentally patted itself on the back and sped off.

Kikyou finally looked up to see no soul collector in sight.

She cursed to herself, getting up and wiping herself off. That's when she noticed it.

"Oh. God," she whispered to herself, bringing her one finger up.

The nail on the finger…cracked.

"Oh my freakin goodness!" she screeched, "I _can_ really break my clay body! Nooooooooooooooooo!" she ran across the fields and trees, holding her hand as she was having a freak attack. Her clay body was cracking!

Unlike the old Kikyou, who wouldn't of cared, much less, overreacted; this one took everything to a new level. The new Kikyou had a job to do. To kill the world.

WOLRD DEMONATION!

And how could she do that when her nail was threatening her body?

"I refuse to let this body crack! NEVER!" she found a lake in which she scooped up mud in one hand and placed it on her one hand with the nail that was cracked.

I mean, come on, isn't that how original clay was made?

"Dry my pretty. Dry this crack that's going to end my plans for world destruction!" she whispered. The mud fell from her hand and onto the ground. She sighed. It was hopeless. She was going to crack into pieces. She lied down on the ground.

She mentally made a note that when she went to hell, she would personally kill againUrasue for making her into _clay_. Why couldn't the old hag make her into something hard? Like iron? Or metal? Or _something_ other than clay?

She suddenly heard someone yell. She jumped. It was coming from the forest next to the lake she was at.

"Kagome! Inuyasha! Miroku! Sango!" yelled a cute, kid-like, voice. Something came out of forest, to reveal a little foxish demon.

"Curses…I was just trying to find Ralph the worm and when I come back…_they vanish! Into nothing_!" mumbled the chibi fox.

He saw Kikyou, who was lying near the lake. He reluctantly walked near her. Kagome warned him about her.

'_Don't go near that Kikyou! She's pure evil and trying to steal Inuy—I mean the jewel shard from me,_' _Kagome used to remind him from time to time._

He held the jewel shard protectively in his pocket.

"H-Hey! Are you K-K-Kikyou?" he stuttered.

Kikyou smiled, rising from her position. "Finally! Someone knows who I am! HehehehehohohohohahahahaMWHAHAHA!" she cackled strangely.

Shippo let go of the jewel shard, less scared now. This is the Kikyou that Kagome warned him about? This was the threat? I mean did you hear that cackle! The girl's on something!

"Riiiiiiiiight. Well then could you help me and Ralph find Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and I guess Inuyasha?" Shippo asked.

"Whose George?" questioned Kikyou. There was no one anywhere.

'_Well…he is pretty little. I mean I remember when I was his age, I imagined I had a purple dinosaur as my pretend playmate. Oh Bob, how I miss you dearly. You were cute, maniac, and fuzzy! Everything a girl wanted,_' she thought to herself, getting lost in thought yet again.

Shippo coughed to get her attention, as he picked up a worm from his shoulder. Kikyou looked up.

"This is Ralph, who has had some rough times lately. He is my bestest friend. My first friend that survived being thrown off a cliff. I was also thinking about making him a little pin that said 'Thrown off cliff survivor' Then I got to thinking how little I'd have to make it," Shippo rambled on, talking about his friend.

O.o was Kikyou's reply, to baffled to say anything. A worm? _No, seriously, a worm?_ Worms don't really even have a brain! Worms are made out of poop no less! Did this kid have knowledge that he was actually holding a piece of poop?

But instead, Kikyou muttered, "And I thought _I_ had issues."

Shippo silently thought to himself. Maybe since she was obviously…not right in the head, maybe Ralph can give her therpay! So, thinking of this brilliant plan, he plopped Ralph onto Kikyou's shoulder.

Kikyou went into shock. "Get the poop off me! Get the poop, poop, POOP OFF OF MEH!"

"I'll have you know Ralph is not poop! He's a worm!" Shippo retorted. Kikyou hacked Ralph off of her and threw it over a cliff twenty yards away. For a person who was made out of clay, she could throw pretty damn far.

Shippo placed his hands on his head, reliving when Kagome threw his friend off the cliff.

"You know, you reincarnations are all the same!" he yelled, running off for Ralph in hopes that he didn't fall off the cliff yet again. Then he'd have to make TWO pins buttons for Ralph.

Kikyou watched with delight as Shippo neared the cliff closer and closer.

"Off the cliff, off the cliff," hoped Kikyou. Shippo was right off the edge, when he stopped and turned around and sat down.

"_What?_" she shrieked, pounding the ground below her feet.

"I'm _going_ to make him fall off the cliff. And I'm _going_ to do it now! MWHAHAHA!" Kikyo cackled, running towards Shippo. As she got closer, it seemed that Shippo was talking to his shoulder.

Kikyou sighed. This guy really _did_ have issues. Talking to his shoulder. _A body part._

'_Freak,'_ she thought, forgetting that twenty minutes ago she was talking to mud.

Shippo turned around noticing and huffed.

"You…you killed them all! Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, AND Sango!"

She proudly nodded.

"Good little boy. You figured out all on your own!" she clapped sarcastically.

"I didn't. You see, Myoga here…"

"Is this _another_ piece of poop—I mean 'worm'?" Kikyou sighed.

Shippo got angry, and pointed to his shoulder. "_This_ is Myoga! Not poop. Not Ralph. MYOGA!" he shouted.

"Poor soul. You seriously think your shoulder is living? Your shoulder is made up of skin tissues. Just like mine is made up of…clay…pieces."

Something flew from Shippo's shoulder, and landed straight on her.

"_What_ in seven blazes hell?" Kikyou yelped, as a little bug came up to her and pinched her nose.

"How dare you kill my master, Inuyasha!" the little bug squealed. Kikyou sighed, unfortunately remembering Myoga.

The bug who ran, lied, and ran some more. Yeah…_him_…

She chuckled.

"What is so _funny_?" Myoga screeched, making Kikyou laugh more.

"You obviously? Who else is there to laugh at? Besides Mr. Befriend Poop over there," Kikyou laughed, pointing to Shippo.

"I dare ya' to say that again! I befriend WORMS! Not POOP!"

Kikyou turned her attention away from Shippo.

"And what exactly are you going to do about it?" Kikyou scoffed to Myoga, testing him.

" I'll teach you!" Myoga started to poke her. Constantly. On the nose.

But what if he cracked her nose like her nail cracked? She would be more doomed than ever!

"Okay, that's it!" Kikyou flicked Myoga off her shoulder, which made him fly off the cliff, just like Ralph.

Shippo freaked out. "Myoga!" Shippo started to run, in slow motion like in those movies.

"Yes…I'll kill two people in one move! I'll go down in history!" Kikyou whispered to herself, daydreaming the ceremony and the plague that would be dedicated to her.

He stopped when he got to the cliff.

"_What now_? Are the gods testing me!" Kikyou yelled towards the sky.

"I can't fly," Shippo stated. Kikyou overheard, and smiled. She had a plan.

She came towards Shippo. Shippo gulped. Would she flick him off just as she did with Myoga and Ralph? For a person with clay body, she sure was strong!

"But of _course_ you can fly!" the dead priestess exclaimed, which made Shippo perk up.

"_Really_?"

"Why of course. Didn't you know all foxes can fly? All you need to do is flap your arms and yell like a chicken and you'll fly!"

"I don't know…" Shippo thought out loud. Kikyou was pretty smart. Inuyasha told Kagome all the time how Kikyou could outwit anybody. That was the time where Kagome would sit him and get a hissy fit, but Shippo knew how smart Kikyou was. I mean she did want to send Inuyasha to hell. Of course she's smart!

Kikyou grew impatient. She hated persuading others for so long

"Look…my soul collectors do that all the time, and look. They fly perfectly."

"I still don't know…" He rubbed his chin, thinking.

Kikyou huffed. She had to use another strategy. What did kids like nowadays?

"Look. See down there?" Kikyou pointed down the cliff, where there was a river streaming by.

"Yeah…_so_?" questioned Shippo.

" So what! SO WHAT! That _is_ no ordinary river, child. That is a river is made out of sugar water. You heard meh, SUGAR WATER! You can 'oOo' and 'aw' now," Kikyou stated. How could he resist the sugary taste of sugar water?

Shippo started to get really excited. Sugar, the sweetener of all! It has super magical powers. Kagome told him so.

"Sugar…SuGaR…SUGAR WATER!" Shippo excitedly said, while jumping up and down.

"Ok!" Shippo squealed, "I shall go for the sugar water!"

Shippo jumped off the cliff, flapping arms and squawking like a chicken.

But, unfortunately, Shippo was not on the gravity's good side, because he fell straight down.

"Sugar Waterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," he yelled.

"Mwhahahahahahaha!" Kikyo cackled, maniacally. She rolled on the ground, fists pounding on the dirt.

"Such a full proof plan! I should do that everytime!" she noted to herself.

She got up, looking at her nail that was still cracked. She actually managed to still kill…and not crack into billions of pieces. She raised her hand high.

"I AM INVINCIBLE!" She screamed.


End file.
